My View, From Peru

Cohen in traditional dress for the Mother's Day Pollada. 

It's been a while since I've written, but then, who wants to hear about the life of a restaurant manager in California anyway?  Now that I’m back in Peru I figured it was time for an update on what’s happening in our lives. 

I had shared with a few of you the completion of our adoption of Cohen.  Upon my arrival in Peru I learned that it was not quite so.  While the adoption is finalized many obstacles remain.  We have yet to receive Cohen’s birth certificate, though it was promised to be delivered two weeks ago, and as it turns out, the papers finalizing Cohen’s adoption, those that state his legal name, Kayla and I as his parents, etc. . . are in the process of being corrected. 

It seems the Peruvian justice system, rather than using standardized templates or creating new documents for each case, instead uses documents from prior cases and simply replaces the specifics- names, dates, and so on.  Our paperwork just happens to include some information from a prior case, and thus must be edited.  How long this will take is anyone’s guess, as are the rest of Peruvian gov’t operations.  All in God’s time, for that is all the time we have.

In the meantime, Kayla, Meghan, Cohen, and I eagerly await the return of Alec and Chandler.  They are finishing out the school year in Colorado and will be returning to Peru mid-June.  Alec is still recovering from a recent appendectomy and the removal of several hernias.  He underwent the procedure two weeks ago, the appendectomy as a precautionary measure, and during the surgery the hernias were discovered.  We pray and believe this will bring an end to much of his ongoing pain. 

Chandler is facing his own struggle right now, one of a much more personal nature but one that I am willing to share with any of you who wish to know more and believe with us that he will make it through.  It is a time of concern, but also a time of relief as he deals with a past issue that desperately needs closure. 

Speaking of God’s time, it seems as though He has plans for us here in Peru, plans that fill my heart and soul with excitement, passion, and anticipation.  The small town of Ichupampa continues to be a burden upon our hearts.  It seems the Lord shares in this burden.  Though I have been back not quite two weeks I have already been invited to join two separate mission trips to Ichupampa and the surrounding villages. 

The first, at the end of April, will be with as part of an MMI (Medical Missions Int’l) group consisting of medical professionals from the U.S.  Though I will be nothing more than a volunteer and liaison during this trip it is an honor and opportunity to be invited.  MMI, from my understanding, is a non-evangelical group, and I was asked specifically to help impart some spirituality to the trip.  Pray for me that I am able to do so, and for the entire mission itself.

The second, tentatively planned for some time in July, involves a group of medical students from a university in Lima.  They, too, want to visit the poorest of poor in the towns of Ichupampa, Lari, and Madrigal.  They have asked to stay in our church in Ichupampa and base a medical mission from there for 5-7 days.  This trip awaits the final approval of the university, approval which will be given today, God willing, so again, please pray for His will. 

In addition to the work we wish to continue in Ichupampa Kayla and I have plenty to do right here in Arequipa.  Ronnie & Joyce’s church, Casa de Dios, was forced to find a new building.  Ronnie had to delay his return to the U.S. by two weeks in order to facilitate the move but God blessed us with an amazing opportunity to rent a building that has three times the space we had before along with what may prove to be a better location than that which we had downtown. 

Aside from being active in the church move and development during Ronnie & Joyce’s absence (they will be in the states until mid-August) the church board has also expressed a desire for Kayla and I to utilize some of the church space for endeavors which will benefit both the church and our various missions projects.  We are in the process of developing an English academy with the intent of using the profits to aid in the rent of the church as well as the maintenance of the church in Ichupampa. 

I have also been solicited to open an after church café of sorts, a place at the church where the people can congregate, have a snack, small lunch, and simply spend time together.  The church is equipped with a kitchen, which is to say it has a large room with two sinks, some counter space, and an exhaust hood (no power or fans, just an aluminum chimney).  I’ll have to figure out how to go about obtaining some meager cooking equipment if I wish to truly provide sustenance for the people.  Until then I’ll cook at home and seek help from the women of the church to do the same.  This shouldn’t be a problem, though, as many of the women have often asked me to teach them to cook “American” food. 

I have spoken of many things, mentioned many needs, and now I will ask for the most important- pray for us!!  Pray that God’s will be done in all that is happening right now, pray that the Lord imparts His wisdom to us all, and pray most fervently that our hearts, minds, and souls are open to His will!! 

As always, your prayers are the most important and substantial blessing we can receive!!  Thank you all. . .

And the hits just keep on comin’. . .

Kayla and the kids have been back in Arequipa for almost two weeks now and there’s no progress to speak of.  The first week back Arequipa was on strike.  No public transportation, lot’s of closed businesses, and as such, no way for Kayla to get the death certificate the magistrate has requested.

As we all know this past weekend ushered in the month of February.  For many of us that also brings the excitement of the Super Bowl.  For Kayla and I it welcomed the news that during the month of February all Judges in Peru are on vacation, save one, who handles every case from every sitting judge.  Looks like the chances of us getting the papers we need have fallen considerably.

Kayla’s parents returned from Argentina this morning, along with our lawyer and his wife.  As they were driving from Tacna to Arequipa, my lawyer at the wheel, they had a blowout and rather than coasting to a stop my lawyer decided to hit the brakes.  The frightening result was the truck rolling and landing on its roof.  People in the area came running and righted the truck so everyone could get out.  Somehow no one was injured.  I’m waiting to see the pictures my father-in-law took while our attorney spoke with police about the accident. 

You ever wonder why our plates are filled the way they are, why we’re challenged they way we are?  I quit wondering.  I figure, if I can handle it God’s gonna give it to me, and if God gives it to me that’s all I really need to know. 

I’ve come to expect that whatever situation I’m in will work itself out on God’s schedule, not mine.  As long as I’m willing to work through it I can count on positive results. 

It’s tough not to be impatient, not to have answers, not to know the when’s, where’s, and how’s.  Life is tough, but not facing reality will make it even tougher.  Despite all the hard times my family is facing right now the reality is this- God has blessed us with more than most will ever hope for, than many will ever realize, and than any of us deserve. 

I remember this show I used to watch when I was a kid.  A gnu (that’s a type of animal, pronounced gu-new, in case you’re wondering) hosted the “news” portion of the puppet show.  He would always say “No gnus is good gnews.”  Today I have to agree. 

Kayla spoke with our attorney’s office this morning only to find out that the magistrate now and suddenly wants the death certificate of Cohen’s birth mother before he will release the adoption papers or Cohen’s birth certificate.  Without those papers Kayla cannot get Cohen a Peruvian passport.  Without his passport Kayla cannot start to work on Cohen’s visa at the U.S. Embassy. 

As such, Kayla is going to return to Arequipa.  She has been staying in Lima the past two weeks hoping the paperwork, which the judge assured us over a month ago, would be released so she could begin the visa process.  When she returns to Arequipa she and the kids will have no bed to sleep on, no couch to sit on, no oven or stove to cook with, because she sold or gave away everything before leaving.  We were hoping for the best.  The best has eluded us.

While in Lima Kayla and the kids faced their share of challenges and they still have a few more coming.  Having a place to stay became a problem, but we appreciate Bill & Lena Shrader and Phyllis Rose for doing what they could to accommodate them.  Now, as Kayla and the kids rest in a hotel for a few days I pray they will overcome the frustration of being set back by recent events.  Even tougher for us all is that I can do so little to help them during this time. 

To add to the stress Cohen is more and more confused every day.  While in Lima he spent the first few days walking around the house where they were staying trying to find me.  He knows I’m in California, and as far as he was concerned so was he.  Now I can only imagine that during the flight back to Arqequipa he’ll again think he’s coming home to me.  He’s young and will survive this.  Even so, I know it’s got to be tough, just as it is on Meghan, who tells me daily how much she misses me and wishes we were all together again.

That’s the news for now.  As things change and we realize more progress I’ll keep you all updated.  Please pray for us all as we continue to live in the state of the unknown.   

Being back in Peru comes with an onslaught of memories, emotions, hopes, and dreams. . . .  Upon arrival my father-in-law said "Welcome Home," and in a very real sense that's exactly what it was, a homecoming.  This morning when Cohen and I went to the tienda to get some bacon for breakfast the owner asked where I'd been, how I was, and shared with me that her daughter had moved to Colorado recently.  I expect this to be the first of many more similar experiences. 

It's nice to know that I left something behind, that I am remembered.  Too often success is determined according to how much we earn, how high on the corporate ladder we climb, or the length and magnificence of our title.  Well, I haven't earned much, I'm still relatively low on the ladder, and I don't have a title, but people know who I am, people remember me just as I remember them, and for that I am grateful, for that I feel as though I have succeeded. 

This trip to Peru is bittersweet- returning home, seeing my family all the while knowing I will leave again in just a few days.  If being apart from my family for 2 ½ months has been difficult leaving them again will be close to impossible.  Though I only arrived yesterday after 36 hours of travel I almost feel guilty for sleeping, needing to get in as much time with everyone and everything as I can.  Still, it won't be enough. .

On the street last night Kayla and I saw a friend, proof of just how small this city of 1 million really is.  Earlier in a market I’ve shopped in only a handful of times during my time here I was recognized by a store owner, much to the surprise of Kayla.  When I noticed the view of the cathedral against the sunset yesterday I was compelled to photograph and video it despite the familiarity of the scene, one I have been witness to many times.

My life in California, away from my family and in the real world, has seemed like a dream, like make-believe.  Many days I feel as though I shouldn’t be making any memories, even while visiting Fisherman’s Wharf or attending a San Jose Sharks hockey game, not because I am alone but because alone I am incomplete, because alone it isn’t genuine. 

Time working is no different, and without my family to share it with it doesn’t seem real.  As Kayla and I walked the streets of downtown Arequipa last night it was as though I had awoken from a dream, the familiarity of my surroundings awakening my inner self allowing me to realize what had been taking place the last few months of my life.  Also more apparent was that which is taking placing every day and more of what the future holds. 

A visitor in my own home, welcome, familiar, and loved, but a visitor none the less.  My familiarity, my place with my family, has been overshadowed by new routines, different schedules, and the knowledge that I am only here for a few days.  I can’t guess when my we will be reunited, and on that I’d rather not place a wager. 

Kayla is optimistic, believing we will be apart only a month or two more. . .I wish I were so optimistic and yet her belief gives me strength to continue in this journey.  It is our differences that keep us alive and our likenesses that keep us together- strange how that works. 

The presiding judge in our adoption case said I need be in Arequipa only one day.  As we were dealing with the Peruvian legal system I never believed it would be so easy and, sure enough, Kayla and I had appointments each day the following week meaning most of our time was occupied with legalities and formalities.  None the less we were together though still short my two boys.  The dual-country/triple-state living condition isn’t as easy as we led ourselves to believe. 

This trip was a blessing filled with its share of curses.  The joy with which my heart was filled being able to visit my family and friends will remain unsurpassed, perhaps forever. 

As more and more people got wind of my return to Peru requests started coming in for a little face time- as if I were the Godfather and my daughter was getting married. . . .Rather than accommodate each individual request I decided to invite several people to the house for dinner Tuesday night. 

It sounded like a good idea until I counted the potential number of people that might find their way to my abode- upwards of 30.  It turned out to be more like 25 and went very well.  I grilled and baked the meat, and also made the choklo (Peruvian corn) while Sharon did more than her part by preparing the salads and potatoes.  I couldn’t have pulled it off without her!!

On the flip side the starter on our van went out while I was here, my lawyer wanted money every time I saw him (what lawyer doesn’t, but still. . .), and my day of return (which has only just begun) really capped it off.

Around 4:45 this morning I began hunting the streets for a taxi to take me to the airport.  I found one a few blocks away and he took me back to the house to get my suitcases.  After we loaded everything up and were ready to set off the taxi wouldn’t start. 

It was at then I asked God if I should just go back inside, get back into bed and forget the whole thing.  After all, I was leaving my family again, in the dark, still asleep, saying goodbye only in their dreams. 

Once the driver decided his taxi wasn’t going to start he jumped out and began to push, and I followed suit, realizing he intended to roll-start what barely qualifies as a car- they’re more like a Matchbox on steroids- and again we were under way.

I arrived at the airport in plenty of time, checked-in and headed to the line to pay my airport tax.  Before I could get in line the woman who checked me in found me and asked me to return to the counter.  It seemed her supervisor had noticed the size of my carry-on and decided it was too big, too heavy, too whatever.

I explained that it couldn’t be checked as it contained my laptop, cameras, and other fragile possessions.  We then weighed it and sure enough it was double the allowable weight.  I then explained to the supervisor I had a connecting international flight in the afternoon and thus I was afforded greater allowances.  She agreed that on the int’l flight this wouldn’t be an issue but that on the domestic portion it was.

I asked her several times how anyone flying internationally but taking a domestic flight en-route would be able to take their things.  After asking her to explain this to me three times she said she didn’t understand the question. . . .I decided I would do my best to accommodate her. 

I took my laptop out, which was in separate bag, along with my cameras, a bottle of water and a leather notebook/portfolio.  I returned to the desk, weighed my bag again and suddenly it was okay, being only .8 kilos overweight.  I thought they were going to check it anyway, which is why I took out my valuables, but instead they let me carry everything on and even provided me with a plastic airline bag to put my loose items in.  What this ended up meaning was that I had three bags to carry on instead of one.  Viva Peru!!

Now sitting at Starbucks in Lima my day continues to drag on.  I find so much joy in my life, in being in Peru, in heading home to San Francisco (did I just call San Francisco home?), and yet I struggle.  Am I doing what is right, what I should be? 

I believe so.  I believe I am.  I also believe that these struggles are God’s way of saying “Look how much you can handle!!  What have you got to be afraid of?”  And that makes sense.  After all, Kayla and I have been scared at different times during our lives, together and apart, but suddenly it seems we have become capable. 

Sure, there’s still a long way to go, but then, why stop.  Life is about moving forward, moving on, making the best of everything and not accepting things as they are.  For every trial we face, for every down time Kayla and I go through, for every challenge that presents itself or that we invite we need two hands to count the blessings God has given us. 

That’s what life is all about.  Being blessed and knowing it; doing the right thing because it’s the right thing to do; living and growing through the hard times. 

I’m home, or back in San Francisco, (whichever it is) and preparing myself to head back to the real world, or the dream world.  When I figure it out I’ll let you know. 

It’s as hard as it’s supposed to be- being away from your family.  If being apart from them didn’t make you want to collapse from the pain then there would be something wrong.

I walked around Best Buy today for no reason looking at things I didn’t want, reading specs on products made by manufacturers I don’t believe in just to avoid thinking about being separate from my family.  Some days are like that.  But then, what can you do? 

I bought a fish tank, just a little desktop adornment.  Not exactly a replacement, just a little something to occupy me.  The love I have for my wife and family cannot be replaced, cannot be exchanged, cannot be anything but what it is- true love.