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5/30/2007 Responsible parentingParenting is no easy task, yet God provided us with plenty of instruction for the journey. A favorite verse of mine, in the convicting and constant reminder of my faults sort of way, is Ephesians 6:4- Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.
While I know God has helped me improve in this area, especially through self-awareness, I also know there are still times when my words and/or actions frustrate my children rather than instruct them. With the spiritual guidance and insight of verses like the one above I hope and pray that when my children reach adulthood principles such as these will be evident in their lives.
What I often wonder, as I envision my children as adults, is the relationship we will have then, once they are grown, perhaps with children of their own. When I consider my parents, grandparents, in-laws, and the various parent-child relationships that exist among them I often times can't help but wonder if the rules and advice like that above are discarded at some point. I wonder if there exists somewhere an unwritten rule, buried deep in our cavernous minds, that tells us, as parents, our job is done when in fact its only just begun.
In I Timothy certain standards are given for church leaders. Well, it seems to me if we say we are following Christ that makes us a church leader, though our church may only be our homes. I Timothy 3:4-5, speaking specifically of those wishing to be an elder in the church, says- He must manage his own family well, with children who respect and obey him. For if a man cannot manage his own household, how can he take care of God's church?
While this passage speaks directly to church leaders I believe it also speaks to the rest of us. After all, each of us, as Fathers, is a pastor to his family, a shepherd of his own small flock. And each of us, as mothers, are also at least an assistant, a shepherd's aid. Thus, if our family is not managed properly our church will not grow. It is along this line of thought I find myself pondering the future. While I hope, pray, and attempt to ensure my children learn that which will keep them on God's path I know that they are bound to stumble, and they may even fall, along the way. In knowing this, then, I must believe my duty as a parent is never-ending. The responsibility to nurture and maintain my own small church, my flock, is not one bound by constraints of time nor age. Rather, the duties we take on as parents end not before our time on earth does also.
Children desire the approval of their parents, openly or in secret, no matter how old they are and despite all other appearances of success. If we then, as parents, set goals unattainable for our children, and if we, as parents, are the clearest representation of God for our children, why should we expect our children to ever find their way to God? After all, as the shepherd of our flock, if we attempt to lead our children to places they are not yet ready or able to go, and when they fail we show our dissaproval in them when in reality the fault is our own, what will our children think of God? How will our children expect God to react when they find themselves too weak to reach Him? Will they see God as the compassionate and trustworthy being that He is, or will they instead think of God as a ruler so harsh, so emotionally battering, that it is better to be distanced from Him than to allow a relationship to develop?
Parents, if you want to know how your kids see God first find out how your kids see you. If your children rarely speak to you and are nervous or distant when they do chances are their relationship with God is not much different. We, as parents, represent God to our children. When our children are grown this should not change. |
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